Lohi
by The Masked Cokie
Summary: What if there were three girls instead of two?
1. The Social Worker

"My name is Lohi," Lohi muttered, walking up the stairs to her house. "Low-ee. The stupid 'h' is silent!"  
  
It had not been a good day for her at school. She had been sent to detention six times, plus lunch detention. Her older sister (and guardian) Nani was not going to be very happy when the school called.  
  
"And that stupid social worker is coming today!" Lohi grabbed the door and harshly turned the knob. The door was locked.  
  
The door was never locked, unless Nani wasn't home. But Nani had to be home. Heartbreak Hotel was playing in the background, and only Lilo, Lohi's little sister, listened to Elvis.  
  
Not bothering to squeeze through the dog door, Lohi climbed in through her bedroom window, as she had often done in the past.  
  
"Where's Nani?" she called, walking down the stairs.  
  
Lilo, who was lying lifelessly on the floor, said nothing.  
  
"Yeah, I had a bad day too. Listen, when Nani gets home, tell her I went to a basketball game, okay?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"And tell her I ate dinner, too."  
  
Lohi walked into the kitchen, only to see black smoke coming out of various pots. "Does Nani know the stove's on?" she called, turning it off.  
  
Absentmindedly, she grabbed an apple, and began to walk back up the stairs to her room, but stopped half-way up. "Nani left you home alone?"  
  
"Lilo! Open the door, Lilo!"  
  
"Go away."  
  
"Oh. She didn't," Lohi commented, half to herself, but completely amused. She hid just far enough away from the stairs to see but not be seen.  
  
"Lilo! We don't have time for this!" Nani's head appeared through the dog door.  
  
"Leave me alone to die."  
  
"C'mon, Lilo! The social worker's gonna be here any minute!" Nani unlocked the door, only to find that Lilo had nailed the door shut. Luckily, Lilo had left the hammer nearby.  
  
"Lilo! Ooh! You are so finished when I get in there!" Nani said, pulling nails out of the door. "I'm gonna stuff you in the blender, push puree, then bake you into a pie and feed it to the social worker!"  
  
Lohi smiled. Nani had certainly inherited Dad's temper.  
  
". . . And when he says 'Mmm! This is great! What's your secret?' I'm gonna say . . . 'Love . . . and nurturing.'"  
  
Lohi couldn't help but laugh. What a moment for the social worker to show up!  
  
Nani's voice continued from outside. "You must be the, uh . . ."  
  
"The 'stupidhead,'" a deep voice answered.  
  
"Oh! Oh," Nani said. "Oh, you know, I'm really sorry about that. And If I'd known who you were, of course I never would've, uh . . . I can pay for that."  
  
Lohi smiled again, wondering what her sister had ruined now.  
  
"It's a rental. Are you the guardian in question?"  
  
"Yes. I'm Nani," she said, pronouncing in almost as if he was stupid, but not quite. "Nice to meet you, Mr. . . .?"  
  
"Bubbles."  
  
"Mr. Bubbles," Nani repeated, sounding unsure. "That's a strange-"  
  
"Yes, I know," the social worker replied quickly. "Are you going to invite me in, Nani?"  
  
"Uh, I thought we could sit out here and talk."  
  
"I don't think so."  
  
"Right," Nani said quietly. "Uh, this way."  
  
"Lohi is lots quieter when she breaks into the house," Lilo told Nani as she ran by.  
  
Nani just turned off her music, and the record scratched.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
But Nani kept running to the back door. "So," she panted. "Lemonade?"  
  
Lohi moved a bit closer to the kitchen, even though she was risking being seen.  
  
"Do you often leave your sister home alone?"  
  
"No! Never!" Nani spotted a picture Lilo had drawn and just hung up on the fridge. "Well, except for just now," she finished nervously, crinkling up the paper behind her back. "I had to run to the store to get some . . ."  
  
"Lohi found that on when she got home," Lilo said, meaning the stove that the social worker was eyeing.  
  
"Lilo! There you are! Honeyface, this is Mr. Bubbles," she hesitated a little, still certain she had gotten the name wrong.  
  
He held out his hand, but Lilo just stared at it, moving her head to one side. "Your knuckles say Cobra."  
  
He knelt down to her size. "Cobra Bubbles. You don't look like a social worker."  
  
Nani looked straight at Lohi. "Aw!" she muttered, and retreated up to her room where she could still hide.  
  
"Lohi! I know you're up here!"  
  
"Am not!" Lohi answered under her breath.  
  
"This is Mr. Bubbles, the social worker," Nani said to the room.  
  
"He doesn't look much like a social worker," Lohi replied, not looking up from the picture she was drawing.  
  
"Special classification," Cobra said, looking around, obviously not knowing where Lohi was. That was how Lohi liked it.  
  
"You ever kill anyone?" she asked, using her finger to color in Lilo's hair.  
  
Nani groaned quietly, making Lohi smile again. Mom had always said that she and Lilo were so much alike . . .  
  
"Are you happy?" he asked.  
  
Lohi then came out from under the bed, moving so she was sitting on top of it. She followed only two rules in life: Suspect anyone and everyone, and get rid of social workers fast.  
  
So she just repeated what Lilo was supposed to say as fast as she could:  
  
"Imadjustedieatfourfoodgroupslookbothwaysbeforecrossingthestreettakelongnaps and-"  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
Lohi sighed dramatically. "I'm adjusted. I eat three square meals a day, do my homework, and look both ways before crossing the street. Well, it's true, Nani. I do."  
  
Lohi watched Cobra Bubbles' face carefully to see his reaction. He had noticed that was she and Lilo said was almost identically, but wasn't saying anything.  
  
"Does Nani punish Lilo?" he asked.  
  
"Of course," Lohi answered, still watching him.  
  
"How often?"  
  
Nani was waving a hand in the background.  
  
"Sometimes five times a day," Lohi said, smiling to herself while Nani buried her head in her hands.  
  
"How?"  
  
"Well, uh, with bricks," Lohi said. "In a pillowcase."  
  
Nani groaned, and Lohi suddenly got the feeling that Lilo had said the same thing.  
  
Then they left her room. But they didn't move far, and Lohi could still hear them talking.  
  
"Let me illuminate to you the precarious situation in which you have found yourself. I'm the one they call when things go wrong. And things have indeed gone wrong."  
  
Lohi crept out of her room to see the end of the meeting. Lilo was sitting on the floor, next to her Practical Voodoo book, with four spoons wearing grass skirts. She scooped them up and put them an old pickle jar and shook it vigorously.  
  
"My friends need to be punished," Lilo explained in monotone.  
  
"Call me next time you're left here alone."  
  
"Yep," was all Lilo answered, focused on the jar.  
  
"In case you're wondering," Cobra Bubbles turned to Nani, "this did not go well. You have three days to change my mind."  
  
He ripped open the door, nails and all, then left. 


	2. Revenge

I don't own Lilo and Stitch. But I do own Lohi, and that's a start.  
  
The moment the social worker pulled out of the driveway, Nani turned, and both Lohi and Lilo screamed.  
  
The only difference was that Lilo ran, while Lohi tripped Nani, who was running after her.  
  
"Lohi!"  
  
As soon as Nani was on her feet again, and after Lilo, the phone rang.  
  
"H'lo?" Lohi said, even though she hated to answer the phone.  
  
"Aloha. Is Nani home?"  
  
"Depends. Who is this?"  
  
"The school, Lohi."  
  
"Which school?" Lohi asked. "Mine or Lilo's?"  
  
"Both."  
  
"Both?! Did Lilo punch Kia, too? Oh, that's great!"  
  
"No, Lilo did not punch Kia. Now, is Nani home?"  
  
"Well, yeah, but she's chasing Lilo around. I think that they're bonding. Why ruin the moment just because I punched Kia?"  
  
"Chasing Lilo? Why?"  
  
"Oh, tag, I guess," Lohi lied. "So, you know what? If you'd just leave your name and number after the beep-oh, hi, Nani."  
  
"Who is that?" Nani demanded.  
  
"Um, the school wants to talk to you, but since you and Lilo are, uh, bonding, I thought I'd take care of it."  
  
"Give me the phone."  
  
"Are you sure? 'Cause I sorta hit Kia today . . ."  
  
"You sort of hit her?"  
  
"It was an accident," Lohi explained, still clinging to the phone. "Shouldn't you be chasing Lilo some more until you catch her and . . . No, I didn't think so. Here."  
  
Rejected, Lohi walked into the living room.  
  
"I am so grounded. I accidentally punched Kia after she threatened to tell the office that I . . ." she looked at her little sister. "Never mind."  
  
"Kia's a snob," Lilo said.  
  
"You're only saying that 'cause Nani says that. Kia's my best friend. You know, like that kid, uh, what's-her-face, you know her? Yeah, me and Kia are like you and her."  
  
"Why did you punch Kia?" Lilo asked.  
  
"It was an accident, Lilo. I told you that."  
  
"Well, I accidentally hit Myrtle Edmonds today."  
  
"Ah. How come?"  
  
"She called me weird. She says I'm a freak."  
  
"So you punched her?"  
  
"Uh-huh," Lilo nodded. "Before I accidentally bit her."  
  
"Oh, Lilo, we are both so grounded."  
  
"How did you accidentally hit Kia?" Nani demanded.  
  
"I have unresolved anger issues," Lohi answered. "I didn't mean to, not really. Not deep inside. I had anger inside, and it wanted to go outside, and it just happened to be Kia who was sitting next to me."  
  
Nani said nothing, just staring at her sister.  
  
"Uh, what'd the school tell you?"  
  
"Your teacher said you and Kia were just talking, and then . . . so what did Kia say?"  
  
"Oh, nothing. I told you. Unresolved anger. I'm grounded, aren't I?"  
  
"No, you're not grounded until you tell me why you hit Kia."  
  
"No, Nani. I didn't hit her. I punched her."  
  
"But why?"  
  
"It's a long story."  
  
"Tell it anyway."  
  
"You'll get mad."  
  
Nani sighed. "I'm already mad."  
  
"I know," Lohi said. "How come you're cornering me and not Lilo? It's not fair."  
  
"Lilo's having a time-out."  
  
"Why can't I have a time out?" Lohi asked seriously. "Or just be grounded. Mom wouldn't have cornered me and made me tell her things I'm not ready to explain."  
  
"Fine," Nani sighed. "You're grounded."  
  
"How long?"  
  
"Until you tell me."  
  
"Blackmailer."  
  
Upstairs in her room, Lohi continued to draw.  
  
"Go away, Lilo," she muttered as her little sister stepped into the light. "I can't see what I'm drawing."  
  
Lilo moved out of Lohi's light. "How come you're so mad?"  
  
"Because Nani is blackmailing me. If she wants to know why I punched Kia so bad, then why doesn't just ask Kia?!"  
  
"Nani doesn't like Kia."  
  
Lohi just rolled her eyes. "Go away, Nani."  
"I brought you guys some pizza," she said. "In case you were hungry."  
  
"Well, I'm not."  
  
"We're a broken family, aren't we?" Lilo asked quietly.  
  
Lohi looked up at her older sister.  
  
"No!" she said immediately. "Maybe," she reconsidered. "A little."  
  
Nani looked down at her sisters. "Maybe a lot."  
  
There was a long paused where no one moved.  
  
"Oh, I shouldn't have yelled at you guys."  
  
"We're sisters," Lilo said. "It's our job."  
  
"Yeah, well, from now on-"  
  
"I like you better as a sister than a mom."  
  
"Yeah?" Nani asked, a little surprised.  
  
Even Lohi nodded.  
  
"I'll tell you what. If you two promise not to fight anymore-"  
  
"Oh, I can't do that."  
  
"I promise not to yell at you, except on special occasions."  
  
"Tuesdays and bank holidays would be good," Lilo volunteered.  
  
"Sorry, I can't do that either," Lohi said. "I need to be yelled at in order to not punch Kia when she-know what? Forget it."  
  
Suddenly the lights flickered, and then went off completely.  
  
Lilo ran to the window, with Lohi not too far behind.  
  
"A falling star!" they both said simultaneously.  
  
Nani wasn't so sure, Lohi noticed, as she climbed onto her window sill.  
  
"I call it!" Lilo cried, waving her hand in the air. "Get out, get out! I have to make a wish!" she shoved Nani, and glared back at Lohi.  
  
"This is my room," Lohi defended.  
  
"Can't you go any faster?" she asked Nani.  
  
"Oh, no!" Nani said melodramatically. "Gravity is increasing on me!"  
  
"No it's not!"  
  
"Is too, Lilo. The same thing happened yesterday."  
  
Then Nani calloseped.  
  
"You rotten sister! You're butt is crushing me! Why do you act so weird?"  
  
She ran into her room, slamming the door.  
  
Moments later, Lohi heard Lilo's voice.  
  
"It's me again. I need someone to be my friend. Someone who won't run away. Maybe send me an angel! . . . The nicest angel you have . . ."  
  
Lohi might have heard more, if she hadn't fallen off her window sill. She had tried to get closer to Lilo's room, but lost her grip."  
  
"Stupid windowsill!" 


	3. Lohi's Great Idea

Disclaimer: I still don't own Lilo and Stitch.  
  
Lohi was always the first one up in the house, because every morning, at 4:30, she went surfing with David, Nani's boyfriend.  
  
Every morning, that is, except this one. Being ground meant no surfing. However, being up at four o'clock was a good thing, Lohi found. Even if she wasn't going anywhere. She could make coffee!  
  
Nobody ever let her make coffee. Lohi wasn't sure why, but was almost positive that it was because she always dug ditches when she had coffee. Except, she really didn't have coffee. She had sugar. One half cup for every cup of coffee.  
  
But besides make coffee, she wasn't sure what to do. (Except maybe write to the Tourist place and ask WHY the 'Ioloni Palace was going to be remodeled into a Starbucks, but she had done that last week.)  
  
So she picked up yesterday's newspaper, looking for a good ad to reply to. (Like maybe Stop Smoking Now, asking if they could make her some custom boots.)  
  
"LOBSTER! Found on beach. Still in great condition. FREE (OBO)."  
  
Now THAT was a good one. A good ad, not a good ad to reply to. After all, what could you say?  
  
"Adopt today. Free. Two dollar licensing fee."  
  
Oh, boy. Now the shelter was paying money? They must've been desperate!  
  
"Dogs make good friends!"  
  
"Friends?" Lohi said out loud. "Dogs? I suppose . . ."  
  
Lohi wasn't a big fan of dogs. She was a cat person. Most definitely a cat person. It wasn't that she didn't LIKE dogs; it was just that dogs scared her.  
  
"Morning, Lohi—"  
  
"Hiyananiguesswhatiwasreadingthenewspaperthismorningandsawthisadinthenewspap erknowwhatitsaiddogsmakegreatfriendsandliloreallyneedsafriendsithinkweshould gototheshelterandgetadogforlilocauseliloneedsafriend!"  
  
"Uh . . . Did you have coffee?  
  
"Ithinksowhyimnotreallysurebuttheonehundredpercentkonacoffeeisalmostoutsoimu sthavehadsomebutimnotsure!"  
  
"Talk slower."  
  
"I think we should get a dog."  
  
"A dog? You hate dogs!"  
  
"This isn't about me. This is about Lilo. Besides, while we're there, I could get a kitty!"  
  
"Lilo hates cats."  
  
"Oh. Right. You like lobsters, right, Nani?"  
  
"We are NOT getting a lobster."  
  
"Okay. A dog it is."  
  
Lohi knew she had to wait for the perfect moment. Nani was tired and her back was turned, so she figured that it probably was the best moment she was gonna get.  
  
"Uh, Nani? I'm real sorry about that bricks in a pillowcase thing."  
  
Nani said nothing.  
  
"So, Lilo said that too?" Lohi was amused. Maybe it was just the coffee and sugar, but she really didn't think so.  
  
"Yes, she did."  
  
"Yeah, sorry," Lohi was trying hard not to laugh. She wanted to so much. Lilo used the brick thing! "Uh, I taught Lilo that. It was a class assignment. Deviance."  
  
Nani still didn't turn around, so Lohi continued.  
  
"I have to write a paper on it. Deviance. And the social 'norm' that I broke. It's going to make a good paper, don't you think?"  
  
Nani turned slowly.  
  
"Kill me quickly! Please!"  
  
"Believe me, Lohi, I would. But you came up with the dog idea, so I'll spare you—this time.  
  
Lilo knew as soon as she woke up. Well, Lohi really woke her up, but same difference.  
  
"Lilo! We're getting a dog!"  
  
"We are?" Lilo asked, suddenly awake. "Really?"  
  
"Yup. Nani said so. We're leaving at about nine. That's when the pound opens."  
  
Immediately Lilo began getting ready for her new dog. She made a bed out of a crate, and dug up an old bottle. Then she put Scrump, her doll, next to the crate.  
  
Then she picked it back up.  
  
"Hey, Lilo."  
  
"Lohi, should I give the puppy my doll? Sometimes I need Scrump . . ."  
  
"Well, you could borrow Lee, if you wanted."  
  
Ugly (known as Lee for short) was Lohi's bear. She had made it herself, like Lilo had made Scrump. It was fairly proportional, although a little top heavy. He was plaid, which was why he was so ugly. Yellow plaid.  
  
"Really? I can have Lee?"  
  
"Yeah. Anyway, I've got Mook."  
  
Mook (as in Tillamook) was Lohi stuffed cow. She was a big fan of Tillamook. After all, they made the best cheese in the world. And cheese came from cows. Except her cow was purple and white because she hadn't been able to find any black 'fur' when she made him.  
  
They were at the pound as soon as it opened. Well, Lohi was there about five minutes before it opened, but only because she ran. She ran off the last of her coffee-sugar energy.  
  
"We need something that won't that can defend itself," Nani explained. "Something that won't die, something sturdy, you know?"  
  
"Like a lobster!"  
  
"Lobsters are good!" Lohi added.  
  
"Lilo! You lolo. Do we have a lobster door?"  
  
"No, we have a kitty door!"  
  
"We have a dog door," Nani told Lohi. "We are getting a dog!"  
  
"Uh, the kennel's back this way," the shelter lady said.  
  
Lilo didn't move, until Nani pushed her gently. "Go. Pick someone out."  
  
"Someone who meows!" Lohi called after her.  
  
"Something that barks."  
  
"Right. So Mrs. Shelter Person, could Lilo really get any dog? I mean, do you have really vicious man-eating dogs? If you do, do you let people adopt them? If you let people adopt them, do you—"  
  
"What she means is: Are all your dogs adoptable?"  
  
"Oh, yes. All of our dogs are quite adoptable . . . Except that one!"  
  
Both adults reacted quickly.  
  
"What's wrong with it?"  
  
"It's blue," Lohi said.  
  
"It was dead this morning!"  
  
"It was dead this morning?!"  
  
"Cool!"  
  
"Does it have to be THIS dog?" Nani whined.  
  
The dog stuck his tongue up his nose.  
  
"Yes, he's good. I can tell."  
"You'll have to think of a name for him," the shelter woman said while getting the licensing paper filled out.  
  
Lilo turned seriously. "His name is . . . Stitch."  
  
"Now, that's not a real name—"  
  
"In . . . Washington . . . State." Lohi may have hated dogs, but she didn't hate Lilo. After all, her sister's were all she had left.  
  
When the dog went outside, she followed, staring the direction that he was looking. "Moses was right. The tourists DO get uglier every year." 


End file.
